


How We Survive is Beyond Me (As Long As We Survive Together)

by Creator0fWords



Category: RWBY
Genre: Body Swap, Bumblebee - Freeform, Bumbleby - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hide and Seek, Humor, Humour, Oblivious Ruby, Slightly malicious Blake, Some Romance, Soulmate AU, Team RWBY shenanigans, Troublemaker Yang, White Rose - Freeform, Yang cried watching Titanic, very angry Weiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-07-15 13:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7224817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creator0fWords/pseuds/Creator0fWords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team RWBY Shenanigans. A collection of random, hopefully funny one-shots and stories about the stuff that Team RWBY and co. get up to.<br/>(AUs will be included later)</p><p>Chapter 8: Dunces and Dragons, a D&D rip-off. It does not end well.</p><p>Chapter 7: (Soulmate AU) Yang wants Blake's help cheating on a test.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Just a Prank Bro

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Thanks for checking this out, hope you enjoy!  
> I won't be putting everything in the tags, but there will be more shipping for sure :)

**It’s Just a Prank Bro**

 

“Yang, i’m not exactly sure that this is the best id-mmmph!” 

“Silence, Blake, I know  _ exactly _ what I am doing…” 

Amber eyes glared discontentedly from over Yang’s hand, and the Faunus shoved said hand away from where it was covering her mouth. “I’m merely saying that if Weiss finds ou-”

Yang slapped the hand back over Blake’s mouth, “She won’t.” 

Blake was not so sure. 

The blonde grinned as she finished what she was doing- swapping the names of every contact on Weiss’ Scroll. 

Well,  _ almost  _ every contact. Not even Yang was suicidal or mean enough to change the “Father” contact on her teammate’s device. 

Blake raised an eyebrow, pawing Yang’s hand away again, “I’m not sure ho-”

“Sssshhhh…”

The dark haired girl narrowed her eyes, “Would you let me get at least  _ one _ sen-”

“No.” 

“At least  _ on-” _

“No.” 

“I’m serious, Yang! You are being im-”

She cut off as the aforementioned blonde started tugging on her black ribbon and chose instead to substitute her words for a glare worth the fury of a thousand suns.

She swatted the hand away. “Yang,  _ what the he _ -”

Amber eyes widened as the hand slapped back over her lips. “Relax, this plan is a hundred percent foolproof.” Yang grinned, “And by that I mean that I thought it up in the shower ten minutes ago.” 

Knowing that it was futile, Blake stopped trying to speak, instead choosing to roll her eyes in defeat as Yang set the Scroll back on the desk where she’d found it. She knew that she need only wait for retribution- in the form of Weiss Schnee- to find the blonde brawler and kick her in the ass.

The heiress was going to  _ kill _ Yang when she found out… And Blake was going to laugh. 

And laugh.

And laugh.

* * *

 

Weiss sighed as she opened the door to the Team RWBY dorm, eyes closed partly in an attempt to relieve some of her anger, and partly to better envision her hands wrapped around Jaune Arc’s neck.

_ ‘Idiot!’ _ She seethed.  _ ‘Absolutely moronic, stupid, IDIOT!’  _

It was at this moment that said idiot decided to come up behind the fuming heiress- hand sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck- to apologize.

“Hey, uh, Weiss… I uh… I’m really s-”

The door slammed in his face, the force of it rattling the very ground upon which Beacon Academy stood. 

Jaune stared at the closed door for a second before turning dejectedly and shuffling towards the JNPR dorm room. 

Meanwhile, Blake was staring questioningly at Weiss over the top of her book. “... Weiss? Is everything alright?”

The heiress said nothing as she stormed into the singular washroom and viciously slammed the door shut. 

Yang peered at the closed door from her bunk. “... I think that’s a ‘no’...” 

The door opened again, Weiss reaching her hand out to grab her Scroll before disappearing back into the washroom. 

The blonde brawler’s eyes widened, second guessing her decision to prank the white-haired fencer and unsure if she should make a run for it while there was still a chance. 

It was at that moment that the scythe-toting leader of Team RWBY decided to make her grand appearance. 

“GOOOOOD AFTERNOON, TEAM RWBY!” Ruby yelled, a trail of rose petals following in her wake as the door shut again.

“... Ruby, it’s not even noon…” Blake sighed, eyes finding the pages of her book once more.

“Tomato, tomahto!” Replied the young girl. “For today will be a great day! Today-”

“SHUT IT!” Roared a voice from the bathroom. “CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M TRYING TO BROOD IN PEACE!?”

There was a momentary silence in the room before Ruby pointed to the door and looked questioningly at her sister. “I’m guessing that’s Weiss?”    
“The one and only.” Came the dry reply. 

Ruby sighed and plopped onto her partner’s bed, wrinkling the perfectly made sheets. “What happened this time?”

Another momentary pause before all three simultaneously came to the same conclusion.   
“Jaune.”

Ruby huffed out another breath and started fiddling with the sleeves of her uniform, all three members of the team waiting for the fourth to come out of her isolation.

The silence was broken after a bit by the loud  _ ding! _ of a text message being received followed by a piercing shriek as Yang promptly fell off of her bunk.

The blonde hastily scrambled to her feet, lilac eyes wide and terrified as they stared down at her Scroll and the message she’d just received from ‘We-ice, Queen of the Underworld ( [ TheRealWeissSchnee01@schneedust.org ](mailto:TheRealWeissSchnee01@schneedust.org) )’.

“Yang?” Blake asked, a hint of worry in her voice as the brawler leapt to the door, the doorknob getting jammed in her haste to open it. “What’s happen-”   
“SHE KNOWS!” Yang shrieked, running outside just as the bathroom door slammed open. A single yellow hair floated down to the carpet, left behind in Yang’s haste to escape.

“YANG XIAO LONG!!!”

* * *

 

**Omake #1:**

 

“YANG XIAO LONG!!!”

The scream echoed through every hallway of Beacon. Ozpin winced and covered his ears as it reached his office, the force of Weiss’ fury somehow managing to rattle his desk and nearly spill his coffee. In the bathrooms, Coco squealed in outrage and surprise as the mirror shattered and the lipstick she had been applying streaked across her cheek, making her look like she’d just been drinking someone’s blood. Out on the training grounds, Pyrrha stumbled and fell on top of Ren, pinning him by the clothes to the ground. 

Back in the dorm, Weiss practically exploded with fury, aura pulsing ice blue around her when she heard the distant reply of “IT WAS JUST A PRANK, BRO!” 

Blake was barely managing to hide her laughter by suddenly developing a cold, and Ruby’s eyes were wide in fear for her sister’s life. 

An ominous clicking noise was followed by Weiss’ rapier glowing with a red light as the heiress stalked out of the room. 

* * *

**Omake #2:** The Innocent Don’t Run.

 

**_[11:32] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ Oh my god you would not BELIEVE the nerve of this idiot! _

**_[11:32] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ Thank you for being silent now btw and sorry for yelling at you earlier BUT _

**_[11:33] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ HE RUINED my morning _

**_[11:33] Weiss Schnee:_** _A TOTAL_ _HAZARD TO MY HEALTH_

**_[11:33] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ He clearly SAW ME moving to sit down for breakfast _

**_[11:34] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ HAD THE NERVE TO RUN TOWARDS ME WITH A GODDAMN GUITAR _

**_[11:34] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ AND THAT UNCOORDINATED NINCOMPOOP _

**_[11:34] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ HE TRIPPED OVER A WATERMELON AND KNOCKED ME INTO PROFESSOR OOBLECK  _

**_[11:34] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ I GOT OATMEAL ALL OVER ME, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? _

**_[11:35] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ OOBLECK BLAMED ME!!! _

**_[11:35] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ THREATENED ME WITH CAFETERIA DUTY FOR A MONTH!  _

**_[11:35] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ A MONTH!  _

**_[11:35] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ ALL BECAUSE I- NO, THAT  _ IDIOT _ JAUNE ARC- KNOCKED HIS STUPID FLASK OUT OF HIS HANDS AND IT SPILT OVER SOME THIRD YEAR’S BREAKFAST _

**_[11:35] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ BUT NoooOOOOoo, he was “merciful” so instead I only get detention for the next five Mondays! _

 

Winter frowned as she felt her Scroll buzzing incessantly in her pocket in the middle of a meeting with the Generals of the Atlesian Military.

Annoyance flickered through her as she discreetly fished the device out of her pocket under the table.

 

**_[11:36] Dunce:_ ** _ Weiss I am in the middle of an important meeting. Please refrain from texting me. _

 

Weiss frowned. This wasn’t how Ruby texted. And meeting? What meeting? She had clearly heard the younger girl returning to the dorm.

 

**_[11:36] Weiss Schnee:_ ** _ Ruby? This is you, right? _

 

Winter glared at the Scroll. What was Weiss trying to pull here? 

She angrily typed out a reply without looking down at the Scroll, still managing to type with perfect spelling.

 

**_[11:37] Dunce:_ ** _ This is Winter, Weiss. Now please stop texting me. I will talk to you later.  _

 

Weiss stared down at the Scroll with an eyebrow raised before deciding to scroll back up the conversation to the previous texts exchanged. 

There was no doubt that this was her sister, Winter, and not her partner and team leader Ruby.

So why did it say ‘Dunce’ as the contact name?

Weiss paused. She checked the rest of her contacts, realizing that all of them had been changed.

There was only one explanation, and one way to prove that it really  _ was _ her suspect.

Finding her conversation with Yang (which was masquerading as her sister), Weiss glared angrily into the camera with all the rage she could muster and snapped a picture, captioning it with an ominous, “ _ I know it was you. _ ”

A few seconds after the heiress sent the message, there was a scream and a thump from the main room before the unmistakable sound of someone jiggling a doorknob.

A dark grin pulled up the corners of her mouth.

The innocent didn’t run. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even Yang Xiao Long fears the tiny fury that is Weiss Schnee. A lot.


	2. It's Not What it Looks Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Weiss and Yang are at odds again, Blake is entirely too frustrated, and Ruby is an innocent bystander with more at stake than she knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head canons feature angry Weiss and troublemaker Yang too much. 
> 
> Today's chapter contains: Minor White Rose fluff, a singular F bomb, slightly more mature themes (?) 
> 
> And maybe slight OOC (Out Of Character)-ness near the end, depending on how you perceive the individual members of Team RWBY

**It's Not What It Looks Like**

 

Ruby was not totally sure what she expected to see when she walked into her dorm room, a bag of cookies in one hand and her books in the other.

What she did most certainly did _not_ expect to see was her girlfriend Weiss straddling her sister on the floor, the former in nothing but her undergarments.

Not to mention that Yang’s arms were pinned above her head.

There was a stunned moment of silence as blue, silver, and lilac eyes met before Weiss screeched so loud and so high that Nora, who was across the hall and singing in the shower, marveled at how anyone could possibly hit such a note.

“IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!”

* * *

 

**15 minutes earlier…**

“Cyrus needs to know the dimensions of his sword. If the area of the blade is 307.9 inches squared, then what is the volume…” Yang read aloud, tapping a pencil absentmindedly against her nose as she lay sprawled on her bunk reviewing for a test.

“Who the hell cares about the _volume_ of their _sword_?” The blonde yelled to the ceiling, rolling onto her back in defeat.

Not that she couldn’t do it- she just really didn’t feel like it.

“Well, apparently Cyrus does.” Replied Weiss from the other bunk, where she too was studying.

Yang rolled her eyes, “It was a rhetorical question, Weiss.”

Weiss chose to treat that as a rhetorical statement and did not answer. The heiress flipped her book closed and stood up to stretch, sighing contentedly as her stiff back finally got to shift positions.

As she stood up, something on her bunk was jostled by the movement and fell off.

Yang’s eyes zeroed in on the small box. “Are those…”

Weiss followed Yang’s gaze and “discreetly” kicked the box under her bunk.

“No.”

Yang raised an eyebrow, “But y-”

“No.”

“Weiss, I saw-”

“You. Saw. Nothing.” The heiress growled, fixing the blonde with a furious glare. “Nothing was there. Nothing. Ever. Happened. _EVER._ ”

There was silence in the dorm, broken when Weiss relinquished the glare and sighed, closing her eyes as she ran a hand through her flowing white hair.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare for my date with your sister…”

* * *

 

**10 Minutes later…**

 

Weiss stepped out of the bathroom, a bathrobe over her undergarments, hair dripping wet and smelling of the lavender shampoo which she totally hadn’t stolen, but rather, _borrowed,_ from Blake. Without her permission.

So focused was Weiss on finding an appropriate outfit to wear that she failed to notice that Yang had shifted positions and was now sitting on Blake’s bunk, pretending to read over an essay for History.

The “essay” which was completely blank.

The heiress grumbled to herself as she picked out two dresses, turning to address her teammate, “Hey Yang, which do y-”

Yang froze in a squatting position with one arm under Weiss’ bed and the other behind her back, hidden from the heiress’ view.

Slowly, Yang lifted her hand out from under the bed pointed at the dress in Weiss’ left hand.

“Uh… That one.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“... YANG XIAO LONG! WHAT THE _FUCK_ DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”

Yang winced but pretended to play dumb, lilac eyes innocently widening in alarm, “Why, whatever do you mean, Weiss? I am merely helping you pick out a dress!”

Weiss’ eyes lit up with blue fire. “DON’T play dumb with me, Xiao Long! What is that behind your back?”

Yang scoffed. “Pffft… Nothing.” She rolled her eyes, as if admonishing the heiress, and slowly moved her other arm behind her back so that both arms were crossed behind her.

Said heiress took a threatening step towards the brawler, somehow still managing to look menacing with her shorter height and a towel covering most of her body.

“Yang. What is in your hand.”

“Wha- this hand?” Yang lifted her right hand, flipping it back and forth to show that there was nothing hidden there. “There’s nothing here, cupcake.”

“Other. Hand.” Weiss hissed through gritted teeth.

Yang moved her right hand back behind her body and brought out her left, making the same display as before. “Nothing.”

“Show me _both_ of your hands at the _same time_ , you dolt!” Weiss snapped.

Yang gulped. “Hehe… Yeaaaahhh… Abooouuut thaaaaaaat…” Drawing out the words, Yang quickly calculated her chances of survival.

Roughly… 1%. And that was only if Ruby managed to save her.

Or Blake.

Only… Blake was more likely to just sit there and laugh.

Blue eyes lit with fury. “YANG!”

Yang stared back.

And then she ran.

…

…  

…

In retrospect, Yang realized that that probably hadn’t been the best idea, considering that they hadn’t been more than five feet apart in the first place.

So when Weiss tackled her to the ground, Yang was completely caught off guard and the box in her hands went sailing across the room to land on Ruby’s bed.

Weiss grabbed both her hands and locked them above her head, rage eminent in every inch of her smaller body. “When I am through with you,” She hissed, shaking Yang’s arm for added effect, “you are going to wish th-”

What exactly she was going to wish, Yang never got to find out.

The door opened to reveal a stunned Ruby, and a glance at Weiss revealed that the towel had fallen off.

* * *

 

**Back to present…**

 

“...”

“...”

“...”

“So…” Ruby began uncertainly, “you’re saying that I found you in this… Position, because Yang had stolen something from you.”

“Exactly.” Responded Weiss, still straddling Yang, who was looking less terrified by the second.

“What’s this I hear about Yang stealing things?” Blake questioned, entering the room and freezing when she beheld the scene, attention drawn away from her latest novel for the moment.

“Hey Blake,” Yang smirked. “I’d wave, but… You know… My hands are a little _busy_ at the moment.” A pointed stare was directed at Weiss, who, blushing, released her teammates hands and stood up to retrieve her towel.

Blake shook her head, returning to the book at hand. “I don’t even want to know what that was about…”  

Ruby was still frozen in the doorway. “Um… So what exactly did Yang… Steal?”

The smirk was still on the blonde’s face as she replied, “Something very precious. Very precious indeed. Something irreplaceable. Someth-oopmhf!”

Yang groaned as she removed the pillow that Weiss had thrown at her face.

“Do us a favour and shut up for ten seconds, would you?” Replied Weiss as, after a quick surveillance, she climbed up to Ruby’s bunk to retrieve the box and toss it to her team leader.

On instinct, Ruby caught the small box, eyes widening as she beheld it.

“Is this… _Is this…?!”_

Weiss smiled shyly, any traces of the dangerous, bloodthirsty monster she’d been barely ten minutes ago completely gone. “I was going to give it to you after the date, but… I guess now is as good a time as any…?”

The heiress gasped as a squealing blur of red tackled her to the ground in a hug.

“THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! YOU’RE THE BEST TEAMMATE SLASH PARTNER SLASH GIRLFRIEND A GIRL COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!”

Blake shook her head. “It’s just a box of cookies…”

At that, all three of her teammates turned to her.

“It’s not _just_ a box of cookies.” Growled Weiss.

“It’s _THE_ box of cookies.” Added Yang.

“It’s _the_ strawberry choco-fudge marshmallow cookie dough ultra deluxe _Remnant Sweets Company_ box of cookies with extra chocolate.” Said Ruby, awe in her voice as she cradled the box to her chest. “Supposedly, they only made one box of it because it was too delicious and fantastic and the factory exploded.”

Blake blinked.

 _‘Why did I have to end up in a room with three cookie connoisseurs?’_ She mentally complained. _‘Why couldn’t I have ended up with some normal people? Why can’t I come back from the library EVEN ONCE and not practically get killed or witness something I never needed to see? WHY?’_

Then again, she _did_ choose her own partner.

Who was currently attempting to sneakily swipe the box of cookies.

Blake sighed.

* * *

 

**Omake #1: WHAT DID SHE STEAL!?**

 

Ruby was still frozen in the doorway. “Um… So what exactly did Yang… Steal?”

Blake scoffed. “Judging by the positions that they are currently in, I’m guessing that it was Weiss’ virginity.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“... What?” Said Blake, “I made an educated guess based on the facts presented to me and even if I was incorrect, it was just a theory.”

Yang stared at her partner.

Weiss paled even more.

Ruby was both confused and unsure of how to respond.

“How… How did you know…” Whispered the duo in sync.

*Beacon explodes*

* * *

 

**Omake #2: The Cookie Thief**

 

“Do us a favour and shut up for ten seconds, would you?” Replied Weiss as, after a quick surveillance, she climbed up to Ruby’s bunk to retrieve the box and toss it to her team leader.

Before Ruby could catch the box, Blake intercepted the throw, her feline senses and heightened speed kicking in as she sped out of the room, the captured box in her arms.

“BLAKE!” Screamed Yang, Ruby, and Weiss in unison as they made to chase after the Faunus, Weiss still in nothing but a towel.

“MY PRECIOUSSSSssssSSSss…” Came the distant reply from up in a tree.

* * *

 

**Omake #3: Is this even a bonus scene**

 

“Show me _both_ of your hands at the _same time_ , you dolt!” Weiss snapped.

Yang gulped. “Hehe… Yeaaaahhh… Abooouuut thaaaaaaat…” Drawing out the words, Yang quickly calculated her chances of survival.

Roughly… 1%. And that was only if Ruby managed to save her.

Or Blake.

Only… Blake was more likely to just sit there and laugh.

Blue eyes lit with fury. “YANG!”

Yang blinked and readied herself.

Yang Xiao Long was not scared of anything.

She’d taken down a whole club of armed men and a bear all by herself.

She’d destroyed robots designed to kill with a single punch.

She’d faced her younger sister at the apex of her fury and still come out of it unscathed but for a singular missing strand of hair.

Yang Xiao Long was not afraid of anything.

And yet, when a diminutive white-haired heiress covered in naught but a towel glared at her like that…

Well, Yang liked living.

 

Yang stared back.

And then she ran.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those omakes, as you can probably tell, were random af and super OOC, but they were thoughts and little scenes that popped into my head during the writing of this chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the previous chapter and I'm so glad that you enjoyed that last chapter :) I can only hope that this second one will be enjoyable as well!
> 
> If you didn't like it, still, thank you for reading!


	3. Karaoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ruby gets ignored, Yang has a breakdown, Blake gets shut down, and Weiss... Well, Weiss gets even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter includes: Karaoke, my bad song choices, questionable White Rose, still no Bumblebee even though it's my OTP, and Weiss losing horribly at board games.

** Karaoke **

A quiet, peaceful day at Beacon.

...

...

...

*Crash*

"ALRIGHT TEAM! EVERYBODY UP!"

Um... I stand corrected.

Ruby Rose posed dramatically in the doorway as the various members of her team glared at her from their positions on the floor around a board game.

"Ruby, it's four in the afternoon and we've been up since 5:30am..." Said Blake, hand poised over a pile of cards.

"Thanks to  _ you _ ..." Mumble-hissed Weiss, legs crossed primly as she alternated between glaring at her partner and glaring at the board.

Yang glanced at Weiss but didn't comment on the mumble-hiss. "So... What's up, Rubes?"

Ruby, too, ignored the comments of Weiss and Blake as she beamed at her sister. "I'm glad you asked!"

Weiss shrieked and jerked sideways, almost losing her balance and falling on top of Yang as Ruby used her Semblance to zip right next to her partner.

"We... Are going karaokeing!"

...

Ruby was met with silence from her team.

"... Might I ask where this is coming from?" Blake inquired, drawing a card from the pile and handing a pair of dice over to Weiss.

"Weeeeelll..." Ruby squeezed in between her partner and Blake, "It's just... We haven't been doing much as a  _team_ lately and I thought that we should, you k now, have some fun!" The red-haired girl slung an arm across Weiss' shoulders as she finished with, "As a team!"

The heiress gently shook Ruby's arm off her shoulder, moving her little boat caricature around the board. "Ruby, we went bowling yesterday... As a team."

"And we went skating the day before," Blake added.

"And we were on a mission together the day before that," Said Yang.

"Don't forget we went down to the beach last week... In the middle of a snowstorm, I might add."

"Laser tag with JNPR and SSSN last weekend."

"Oh yeah, that was fun!"

"I agree, although I've never been much good with guns..."

"Oh, and we live together."

"We sleep together."

"We eat together."

"We go to classes together."

"We fight together."

"We've even had to  _ shower _ together before!"

"Okokok, I get it!" Ruby interrupted, flailing her arms around and nearly slapping her sister in the face. "We  do do a lot of things together, fine! But c'mon, karaoke will be fuuuuuuuuunn!"

...

Weiss cursed as her caricature landed on a green square with a yellow stripe across the top, while Yang grinned hugely.

"Ha! I own all  _three_ Vacuo-based resorts, and factor in the two hotels, these houses, and my _ supreme awesomeness _ ..."  


The blonde smirked and held out an open palm to Weiss, "Thirteen hundred Lien!"

"Guys?" Ruby whined as the team continued on with their game. "Guys!?"

"NOOOOOO!" Wailed Weiss, "I have to mortgage all four huntsmen academies for this!?"

Blake suppressed her laughter as the heiress very unwillingly handed the fake money over to a gloating Yang.

"GUYS!" Ruby yelled, slamming her hand down on the middle of the board and moving almost every piece out of place. "We're going after dinner! No inviting  other people, and bring some money for drinks!"

Yang let out a startled noise as her sister flashed past her and to the door. "NOOTHERPEOPLE!" Ruby yelled again as the door slammed shut,  leaving a very 

bewildered team WBY to finish their game of Monopoly. 

* * *

The old man who seemed to work everywhere led Team RWBY into a dimly lit room with enormous speakers and a very large screen against one wall.

Wordlessly, he closed the door.

Yang crossed her arms over her chest. "I swear I've seen him somewhere before..."

Ruby, Weiss, and Blake all shrugged.

The heiress crossed to a set of couches across from the screen and picked up a mic from a small stand holding two on the coffee table.

She turned. "So? Who's up first?"

* * *

" _Watch the little hearts while they scrape you off the floor~_ "   Yang sang, throwing her head back as her teammates cheered and clapped. " _ Bringing out your _ _rockets? Well shoot 'em up baby, h_ _igh as you can go, but I'm the one who's gonna sooaaar..._ "

"She's actually pretty good," Weiss whispered none too quietly to Ruby, causing both Blake and Yang to smirk.

"I _BURN!_ _"_ The brawler sang-yelled, " _CAN'T HOLD ME NOW, YOU GOT NOTHING THAT CAN STOP ME_ - "

"You'd be surprised," Ruby replied, "Back home in Patch, I had to listen to her sing in the shower almost every night."

Weiss snorted. "We still do."

Ruby laughed. "Yeah, true. But she'll never be as good as you."

With a wink and a smirk, the red-haired girl  seized the other microphone just as Yang was finishing her verse, leaving Weiss with a blush barely visible in the

dim lighting.

" _I get what I want, so don't bother and just watch me burn- _ "

" _-_ _Hotter than the sun, feel my fire. Pyromanic: my desire_ , "

Weiss and Blake simultaneously turned towards each other, eyes wide.

"Ruby can rap?!" Blake hissed disbelievingly, to which Weiss just nodded wordlessly as she continued staring at her partner. 

" _ \- Gasoline, kerosene; strike the match, ignite the scene- _ "

Yang wiggled her eyebrows at Weiss and Blake. "Not bad, eh?"

" _Now sit back and watch me burn_. "

Yang finished off the song to loud applause and whooping from the rest of her team.

"Ruby! You never told me you could rap!" Weiss pointed accusingly at her team leader, who blushed.

"Well... I mean, it never really came up in conversation..." She mumbled, only to be interrupted by the door opening.

Yang whooped. "ALCOHOL! WOOOHOO!"

* * *

" _Hello darkness my old frien-_ "

"OH HELL NO!" Someone cried out.

Blake sighed and changed to a different song.

* * *

"Weiiiiiiiissssss..." Ruby whined, clinging onto her partner's arm. "Pleeeeeease?"

"Yeah, come on We-ice Queen, sing us a songey song song!" Yang drawled, jabbing the heiress in the ribs with one hand and poking her own partner on the  shoulder with the other. "C'mon Blakey, help us out here."

Blake sighed, chugging another glass of what was either beer or apple juice.

"I don't see why you would not want to sing for us, Weiss. It  is karaoke after all, and we have all gone already."

Weiss sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine."

She strolled over to the monitor in the corner, a small smile tugging at her lips as she chose a song.

Mic in hand and facing her team, Weiss began to sing.

" _Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend_!"

As if rehearsed, Blake snatched up the other mic and strolled up to Weiss. " _ No way! No way! I think you need a new one, _ "

Yang and Ruby exchanged a very confused look.

"You think they rehearsed this?" Ruby asked her sister.

Yang merely shrugged

* * *

" _ Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no tre- _ "

"Noooooooooooo..." Ruby groaned. "Not this song oh my god I've heard it too much."

Blake sighed and changed the song.

* * *

" _You used to call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my looove._ "

Blake huffed, ears twitching with irritation. "As if we haven't heard enough of  this one already."

And then Yang started dancing.

* * *

Without a word, Weiss grabbed a mic and went up, her team glancing at her quizzically as a flute started playing.

Yang cocked her head to the side. "Wait a second..."

The heiress smirked and stared directly at the blonde, whose eyes widened in horror as she realized what song this was. " _Every night in my dreams_ -"

"NO!" Yang screamed, standing up. "NOOO!"

"- _I feel youuu_ ,"

The blonde let out an unintelligible scream and lunged for her teammate, who merely stepped aside, not missing a beat.

" _That is how I know you... Go on..._ "

Yang covered her ears. "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

" _Far across the distance-_ "

Blake looked over at Ruby, who was looking more concerned by the second. "Ruby? What's going on?"

The red-haired girl shook her head. "Yang cried when she watched the Titanic... and she  hates crying."

The Faunus blinked, a little upset that Weiss knew something about her partner that she did not, and was exploiting it. "Oh."

" _Neeaaar, faaaaaar, whereeeeeveerrr you aaaare.._."

But definitely less upset about the exploiting part.

Yang let out a high pitched wail and swung for Weiss again, the nimble fencer stepping around the coffee table.

"... Should we... Do something?" Blake asked uncertainly.

In answer, Ruby, ever the amazing younger sister...

Picked up the other mic and joined Weiss.

" _Once, mooooore, you ooooopen the dooooor!_ "  Ruby and Weiss sang in unison, the former shooting a conspiratorial look at the heiress when she looked over in confusion.

Yang was wearing a look of utter betrayal. "RUBY! NOT YOU TOO!"

" _And you're here, in my heart and-_ "

The blonde stopped chasing her teammates around the coffee table and collapsed onto the ground beside Blake. "Noooo..."

" _My heart will, go ooooon and oooon_ ,"

Tears slid down Yang's cheeks.

And Blake laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

* * *

 

** Omake #1: I SAID NO OTHER PEOPLE!!! **

"Weiiiiiiiissssss..." Ruby whined, clinging onto her partner's arm. "Pleeeeeease?"

"Yeah, come on We-ice Queen, sing us a songey song song!" Yang drawling, jabbing the heiress in the ribs with one hand and poking her own partner on the shoulder with the other. "C'mon Blake, help us out here."

Blake sighed, chugging another glass of what was either beer or apple juice.

"I don't see why you would not want to sing for us, Weiss. It  is karaoke after all, and we have all gone already."

"No."

At that moment, there was a knock on the door.

"MORE DRINKS!" Cheered Yang, only for the cheer to die away as the door swung open, Team JNPR strolling in.

Nora started jumping up and down. "We heard you guys were doing karaoke! OOooo this will be  so fun!!"

"Hey Ruby, Blake, Yang!" Jaune greeted, waving at them. He turned to the heiress, a "sexy" smirk on his lips.

"Weiss," He drawled.

Weiss promptly stood up, left eye twitching. "Nope."

She snatched up a microphone and whirled around, an angry beat blaring from the speakers.

" _ Why'm I always hit on by the boys I never like? I can always see them coming from the left and from the right. _ "

As if rehearsed, Blake grabbed the other mic and strolled up to Weiss. " _ I don't wanna be a priss, I'm just tryna be polite! But it al-ways seems to bite me in the- " _

_ " You ask me for my number, yeah you put me on the spot." _

" _ You think that we should hook up but I think that we should not _ ."

" _You had me at 'hello!' then you opened up your mouth,_ "

In unison, Blake and Yang pointed at Jaune. " _And that, is when, it started going south OH!_ "

The blond looked surprised, his mouth hanging slack as his teammates tried to stifle their laughter.

_   
"TAKE A HINT! TAKE A HINT!" _

_ "NO YOU CAN'T BUY ME A DRINK!" _

_ "LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I THINK!" _

Yang turned to look at Ruby, who was shaking her head sadly.

"No. Other. People."

* * *

 

** Omake #2: Why. Just why. **

_ " I CAME IN ON A WREEEECKING BALLLLLL! YEAH I JUST CLOSED MY EYEEES AND SWUUUUUNG! " _

Ren sighed as Pyrrha ducked and narrowly avoided being smashed into a wall. "Nora, just because it says that in the song doesn't mean that you actually need to swing your h-"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs, in order, are:
> 
> I Burn (From the RWBY OST)  
> The Sound of Silence (Simon and Garfunkel)  
> Girlfriend (Avril Lavigne)  
> All About That Bass (Meghan Trainor)  
> Hotline Bling (Drake)  
> My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion) 
> 
> And for the omakes:  
> Take a Hint (Victoria Justice & Elizabeth Gilles)  
> Wrecking Ball (Miley Cyrus) 
> 
> I apologize if you don't like or don't know the songs or if you think the chapter sucked or could have been written better ^^; because I know it could have.  
> Thank you for reading! Thank you for commenting! (I read all of them, even if I don't reply) And THANK YOU for rating!


	4. The Problem With Dust #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit happens, including a RWBY bodyswap, a suspicious Winter, and the alleged production of the Beacon school play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so yes this is gonna be part number ONE of "The Problem with Dust" mini-series, which is pretty much the same canon story broken into a bunch of smaller segments because i am a horrible person who cannot finish everything in one sitting.  
> So... hope you enjoy this probably less funy and probably more expositional setup of a chapter!

**The Problem With Dust**

Weiss paced the room, eyes glancing down at her wrist every now and then to check the time, before realizing that she wasn't wearing a watch and then lifting her eyes to the wall clock.

They didn't have a wall clock.

Growling in frustration, Blake snapped her book closed after the tenth time that the heiress had let out a loud huff of exasperation.

"Weiss, if you're going to wear a hole in our floor, could you _please_ do it quietly?" The Faunus snapped, patience running thin after their morning classes, Yang's incessant need to piss everyone off, and other, more private reasons.

Weiss stopped pacing and turned to face Blake, hands fidgeting with her hair. "Sorry, sorry..." The heiress muttered, standing completely still by the door, back ramrod straight as she checked the time on her scroll.

"It's just... Albert was supposed to be here one minute and thirteen seconds ago!" She cried impatiently, expressing her utter annoyance at her butler's tardiness by stamping her foot.

Blake sighed, her teammate's constant need for everything and everyone to be perfect grating horrendously on her nerves. Of course, Weiss _did_ make certain exceptions.

... Mostly because she didn't have any choice cough cough Ruby and Yang cough cough.

As Blake went to open her book again, three sharp raps against the door caused her to look up, eye twitching with annoyance as Weiss let out a _huge_ breath and exclaimed, "FINALLY!"

The door opened to reveal a short man with a curled mustache, eyes that seemed to be squinting at everything, and a ridiculous toupée. His black suit was crisp, not a wrinkle to be seen, his dark tie so straight it looked like he had measured it with a ruler, and his dress shirt somehow managed to out-white Weiss' hair. Even his black loafers shone like lights.

"Ms Schnee," Said the man in a high-class, snobby accent, bowing his head slightly in respect to Weiss. "I apologize for my tardiness. There was a disturbance at the door, and I could not get through."

Now that the door was open, Blake could faintly hear the sounds of screaming, gunfire, and a familiar laugh that brought to mind a certain grinning blonde.

She shook her head and opened her book again, determined to distract herself.

Weiss did not look too pleased, but nodded nonetheless. "It's fine, Albert. I am glad to see that you have made it here alright."

Albert the butler bowed and then turned around to drag a large trolley stacked high with silver suitcases into the room.

"Here is your Dust, Ms Schnee. Is there anything else that I may assist you with?"

"Not at the moment, but thank you, Albert. Have a safe trip." Weiss replied, a small smile on her lips.

The butler bowed again and left the room, shiny loafers making not a sound against the thick carpet of the hallway.

As soon as the door shut, Weiss squealed and ran over to the suitcases, grabbing one at random and opening it with a soft _click_.

She rubbed a glass vial containing red Dust against her cheek, sighing contentedly.

"Oh, Dust, how I've missed you..."

The door banged open and Yang strolled into the room, burn marks all over her uniform and a few cuts on her face.

But of course, her hair was perfectly fine.

"Heyo!" The blonde greeted, smiling as she set her textbooks down. The smile flipped upside down when she saw Weiss.

"Uh... Weiss? Why are you cuddling with that vial of Dust?"

 _"And should I be worried for my sister?"_ She tacked on mentally.

The Ice Queen froze and then quickly whipped the vial across the room and onto her bed.

"What Dust."

Yang shook her head. "You know what, never mind. Why do you have these many suitcases here anyways? It's the middle of the year, Weiss."

The blonde's eyes widened with a sudden realization. "You're not... _Leaving_ Beacon, are you?"

Weiss scoffed, still sitting on the floor next to her open suitcase of Dust. "Nonsense. This is all Dust, for me to resupply with. I'd originally brought what I  _thought_ would be enough for one year, but between all this extra-curricular fighting we've been doing and the fact that some of my vials seem to keep going missing..." Weiss directed an accusing glare at her two roommates, neither of which replied, "I have had to resupply. Anyways, I should probably unpack now..."

She trailed off, standing up and smoothing out her uniform. Blue eyes looked to Yang with distaste in them. "And _you_ should probably get cleaned up."

The brawler rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly as she examined her clothes. "Hehe... Yeah, probably..."

* * *

"196... 197... 198... 199..." Weiss muttered under her breath, pointing at the various vials in front of her.

"199..." She repeated, glancing at the vial. She frowned at the color of the Dust inside. Since when was any of her Dust pink?

Weiss shook the feeling of discomfort off. Perhaps it was just a more pure strain of fire Dust.

"199... 199... 199..."

Blue eyes snapped up. "Which one of you dolts stole my Dust again?!"

Ruby froze, a cookie halfway to her open mouth and her History textbook propped up on her knees as she lounged on the floor.

Yang, doing one-armed pushups on the ground, lifted her head to glance at Weiss, then resumed her workout.

Blake continued reading.

Weiss' left eye twitched.

Her partner gulped nervously, setting her cookie on her stomach for the time being. "Weiss, I swear it wasn't me. You can ask Jaune! I was with him all day!" 

Weiss' eye twitched again at the thought of Ruby, _her_ Ruby, spending her time with the blond idiot who'd landed her in detention last week.

Yang sat up, blowing her hair out of her eyes. "You really think it was me, Princess? I would never do anything to intentionally piss you off."

Weiss was pretty sure that her eye was going into a seizure at this point.

Blake said nothing, completely unaware of the world outside of her novel.

She thrust her hand towards Yang, one eyebrow raised imperiously.

Gauntleted hands raised into the air. "Weiss! I told you I didn't take it!"

"And I don't believe you," Weiss snarled. "Yang Xiao Long, give me back my Dust or I swear on my life I will make yours _hell_."

Yang couldn't resist. "You can't swear on something you don't have, Weiss..."

An angry shriek was all the warning Yang got before Weiss Schnee, the graceful, poised, ever-practical heiress to the Schnee Dust Company shot out of her bed in a flying tackle at a girl who was more than twenty pounds heavier than her.

Yang grunted as the small white blur hit her dead on and bowled her over.

 _Crunch_.

Ruby chewed on the cookie she'd just bitten into, unsure of who to root for and whether or not to stop the fight breaking out yet _again_ between her sister and her partner.

Yang was on her feet, a small glass vial of pink dust in her fist as she tried to placate Weiss, "You don't understand! I need this tomorrow! I promised that I would rematch both Nora and Velvet, and I can't beat _both_ of them without some Dust!"

"You can get some yourself!" The heiress growled, glaring at her teammate.

"But it wouldn't be as good as Dust mined directly from the Schnee quarry!" Yang begged, the vial held above her head as Weiss jumped at it, trying in vain to reach the Dust clutched in the taller girl's fist.

"You. Could. Have. Asked. Me!" Weiss said, each word punctuated by a jump, her fingers barely brushing against Yang's.

"I was pretty sure you would have said no!"

"AND YOU THOUGHT THAT _STEALING_ IT WOULD MAKE ME ANY MORE LIKELY TO SAY 'YES'?!"

"I- I was borrowing it! I am _not_ a crook!"

Finally realizing that she could just use her glyphs, Weiss summoned one beneath her feet and launched herself at the vial that Yang was holding.

Surprised, Yang spun around...

Only to trip over one of Ruby's books.

All four members of Team RWBY watched in slow motion as the pink Dust slowly fell towards the ground, the glass shattering into a hundred tiny pieces.

Weiss blinked.

She opened her mouth to scream at Yang, only to pause in confusion as the pink Dust started to turn into a pink vapor and float through the room.

"Wha- this isn't..."

A fit of coughing cut Weiss off. A few seconds later, the four girls were all doubled over, hacking and wheezing as their room started to turn a lovely shade of Nora pink.

Blake had fallen off her bed and onto Ruby, but managed to rasp out a desperate, "W-window!"

Ruby flipped her teammate off of her and raced over to it.

Yang gasped in relief as the cloud dissipated into the cold night air, her hands braced on her knees.

Blake shook her head, ears twitching spastically as she stood up and coughed. "What... What was that?"

Weiss shook her head, still trying to catch her breath. Her throat burned, and her eyes were still watering.

Ruby recovered first. "Is everyone alright? Is anyone on fire?"

Blake rolled her eyes. "No one is on fire, Ruby."

Yang was rifling through a drawer looking for some bottled water. "My throat is."

Everyone else nodded assent.

When it became clear that no one was hurt or injured beyond some minor discomfort which was already fading, Weiss finally turned to Yang.

"This is all your fault, you know."

"Wha- _me?_ " The blonde exclaimed, affronted and still searching for water, " _You're_ the one who jumped at my face!"

"You stole my Dust!"

"I was _borrowing_ it!"

"Yeah, for life!"

Ruby sighed as she scribbled down some notes on a piece of paper. "Why must they always bicker?"

Blake shrugged. "Do you think we should... Tell one of the professors about the Dust?"

Ruby shook her head. "It's late, and none of us are hurt. I don't see any need to bother them."

"Fair enough." Blake sighed and got up to use the washroom.

* * *

Ruby awoke to a very loud shriek originating from somewhere to her left.

She rolled to the right, expecting the brush of the tarp covering her bunk to tell her when to stop rolling.

"EEP!"

The feeling never came and Ruby fell out of her bunk, only-

The leader of Team RWBY blinked at the short fall and glanced up.

The short fall meant that...

She'd been on the bottom bunk?

But why had she been on the bottom bunk? The bottom bunk wasn't hers, it was W-

Ruby quickly stood up and looked around for Weiss, half-expecting the heiress to pop out of the carpet and scream at her for being on her bed.

Instead, she saw Yang frantically rush out of the bathroom, eyes wide in horror.

"RUBY! BLAKE! YANG!" She yelled, rushing over to Blake's blanket-covered body.

"Y-Yang?" Ruby muttered in surprise. Why had her sister yelled her own name instead of Weiss'?

Yang whipped her head towards her and screamed again, the sound more becoming of Weiss than Y-

"What's going on?" A sleepy voice mumbled from above Ruby, the scythe-wielder watching as her own head poked out from under the tarp. "Yang? Weiss? Why am I-"

Silver eyes widened as a hand petted at red streaked hair.

"Why am I in Ruby's bed? Where are my ears?! And why do I sound funny!?"

Ruby's mouth fell open in shock and, slowly, fearfully, she looked down at herself.

Oh no.

_Oh no._

A pale blue nightgown and long, slender legs greeted her.

Reaching a hand up, Ruby grasped a strand of silver-white hair between her fingers.

Still refusing to believe what she was seeing, Ruby raced to the bathroom.

Ice blue eyes, wide with shock and horror, stared back at her from the mirror.

From the main room, Ruby heard a thump as someone jumped down from her bed.

"What the he-" Said her own voice, before a very Yangry shriek punched through the air.

"YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!" Yang screamed, storming over to the bathroom and dragging Ruby out. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HADN'T STOLEN MY DUST, THIS... THIS _... MISHAP_ WOULD **NEVER** HAVE OCCURRED!"

She was violently shaking her leader, and Ruby could barely manage to choke out a breathy, "I didn't... steal... your Dust..."

Weiss/Yang stopped shaking Ruby. "Wh-"

A loud groan from behind stopped the blonde mid-word, and lilac eyes turned to see Blake sitting up.

"Owwww..." The Faunus moaned as her head hit the bed above her with a muted _THUMP_. "What the hell..."

Amber eyes slowly blinked open. "Ruby? Weiss? Yang? Wha-"

She paused, eyes slowly losing their sleepiness. "Wait, if I'm over there..." She mused slowly, pointing at Yang. "Then... How am I..."

Blake shoved the blanket off of her and stood up.

She looked down.

And then she slowly looked back up.

Silver, blue, and lilac eyes stared back at her, no one moving, no one speaking a word.

It was Ruby, or... whoever was _in_ Ruby's body, that spoke first, in a dry and sarcastic tone.

"Well... This is a thing..."

* * *

(Henceforth, I will refer to the girls as **[name of the person]/[name of the body they are in]** so if I wanted to refer to Ruby, in the body of Weiss, I would say **Ruby/Weiss**. In any case, I will try to make it clear who I am trying to talk about!)

* * *

Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang sat in a circle on the floor, still in their pajamas and forever thankful that there were no classes that day.

"So..." Began Ruby/Weiss- taking it upon herself, as the _awesome_ leader of Team RWBY- to start the conversation. "Umm... What do we do."

Yang... Er, _Weiss_ , rolled her- well, _Yang's_ , eyes. "Figure out what happened. Get back into our own bodies. Never speak of this again."

Yang/Blake snorted. "I think it's pretty obvious what happened."

"Yeah? Care to explain for us, Yang?" Snarked Weiss, sounding less bitchy and scary with Yang's body and voice.

"Sure, Princess," Yang said with Blake's morning monotone. She cleared her throat and raised her pitch.

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious to say that we've somehow managed to switch bodies. Or minds. Makes no difference at this point. Ruby here is in Weiss-" The aforementioned heiress made a noise of discontent at the phrasing, "Weiss has managed to score _my_ amazing figure, Blake is now Ruby, and I am now Blake."

Yang paused to stroke Blake's kitty ears, now able to do so without lots of hissing and biting.

Blake/Ruby, who had been mostly quiet up until this point, hissed and bared her teeth in a menacing growl.

Or, it would have been menacing, had she been in anyone other than Ruby's body.

As it was, the menacing growl was absolutely _adorable_ , which Yang gleefully pointed out only to be knocked flat on her back a moment later.

"Oh, hey, could you please watch th-" Ruby could only watch and wince as her sister pulled at her hair and struck at her body, which Blake was attempting to use to disembowel her own. "Not my- ugh, _Yaaang!_ "

Weiss had had enough. "ENOUGH!" She yelled, eyes blazing red and hair lighting up. "SIT DOWN AND STOP BEHAVING LIKE CHILDREN! THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER!"

Blake and Yang stopped their struggling to turn and stare at Weiss.

They slowly disentangled themselves to sit up and arrange themselves back into their little circle.

"Man, I look hot when I'm angry," Yang muttered to herself, pun completely intended.

Red eyes snapped to amber ones, and Yang shrunk back at the rage within them.

Weiss let out a breath to cool herself off, the unfamiliar adrenaline rush of Yang's Semblance fading away. "Alright. Good. Now where were we."

Ruby slowly raised her hand. "Umm... We've... Established that we've changed bodies... And now we need to plan our next move?"

"We should tell someone," Blake/Ruby said, "Maybe Goodwitch could help us change back."

Weiss/Yang nodded. "You're right. We should tell Ozpin."

"No!" Yang/Blake cried frantically, to strange looks from Blake and Weiss.

"No." She repeated, voice normal this time. "If we tell Ozpin, who knows what he might do? This obviously isn't any sort of Dust we're supposed to have, and we could be suspended, or even worse, expelled! And I don't know about you, but I rather like it here, Weiss and all."

"Hey!"

Ruby nodded, ignoring her partner's angry outcry, "Yang's right. Who knows what might happen to us if we told Ozpin." She looked up and met eyes with her teammates, a litte jolt of shock still hitting her when she locked gazes with silver.

"But it was an accident," Blake reasoned. "Ozpin will underst-"

It was at that moment that a Scroll started ringing, the classy ringtone marking it as Weiss' Scroll.

The heiress went to pick it up, only to be stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Wait," Blake said, silver eyes wide. "You're not you right now, and the person on the other side of that call..."

Lilac eyes widened in realization. Weiss/Yang grabbed the Scroll and passed it to Ruby.

She was confused. "Why would you give it to me?"

"Because, as of this morning, you are _me_. And that is who the other person is expecting." Replied her partner, to which Ruby's mouth fell open in a silent 'O' of understanding.

"Don't worry," Weiss added, seeing a look of fear in blue eyes, "I'll tell you what to say."

Ruby/Weiss gulped and took the Scroll, hitting the _answer_ button without second thought. "Um... Yo, what's up?"

An angry glare prompted Ruby to quickly change her greeting, "I mean... Weiss' Scroll, how may I help you?"

Weiss shook her head and sighed. Close enough.

Blue eyes went wide as the speaker on the other end said something. "W-what?"

"What? Who is it?" Hissed Weiss/Yang.

"You didn't look at the caller ID?" Yang whispered to her.

"No, I was distracted!"

"Put it on speaker." Blake/Ruby spoke over the two girls arguing, and Ruby nodded, pressing a button on the Scroll before placing it on the floor in the center of the circle.

" _\- is stressful and it is quite early in the morning, but that was unladylike and borderline disrespectful._ " Came the sharp, unimpressed voice from the Scroll.

Weiss buried her face in her hands and quietly let loose a string of very unladylike swears.

"What is it?" Yang prompted.

"Winter..." Groaned the blonde.

Yang looked confused at what a season had to do with their current predicament; that is until Blake poked her arm and she directed her attention to the Scroll, where the name WINTER was displayed above the 'Active Call' icon.

Oh.

They had all heard of Weiss' elder sister, Winter Schnee.

Ruby looked positively terrified. "I-I'm sorry, si- Winter."

Weiss' signature glare fit surprisingly well on Yang's visage.

A long sigh hissed down the line. " _I suppose certain... Influences, were to be expected. In any case, I am not calling for social reasons. Albert delivered your_ _Dust yesterday, correct?_ "

"Y-yes." Ruby/Weiss replied, and the real Weiss nodded in approval of her reply.

" _Was any of the Dust that you received... different, from your usual selection?_ "

"Yes." Ruby repeated, more certain this time. "It was pink," She added, and her partner nodded her approval.

Maybe they could actually pull this off.

Another long sigh, as if this statement had confirmed something. " _Weiss, that Dust is a new compound we found in one of the Vacuo quarries. It could be_ _highly dangerous, for all we know, which is not a lot._ " At this, all four girls had frozen. Winter didn't notice. Shockingly. _"We don't know how, but it ended up_ _among your things. Someone will be by shortly to pick up them up and transport them back to Schnee headquarters. Please be careful with them, and don't tell_ _anyone._ "

Weiss finally shook out of her trance. "Why didn't Fathe-mmph!"

Blake had slapped her hand over Weiss/Yang's mouth to muffle the rest of the words. The heiress was about to argue when she realized her mistake.

Quickly, Ruby tried to cover it up with a cough. "I mean... Why didn't Father..." She trailed off, unsure of what Weiss had been about to say.

She needn't have worried.

" _Weiss?_ " Winter's voice snapped back over the line, more angry now. " _Is someone with you? Are they listening to this conversation?_ "

"N-no!" Cried a frantic Ruby. "That was me speaking! I-"

 _"Weiss, I know what you sound like even when you try to change your voice. That was not you._ "

Ruby's Xiao Long side kicked into play. "No, that was me alright... I just... I've been practicing for... Beacon's new play!" Three pairs of eyes stared in stunned disbelief at her, but she kept on bowling forward. "Y-yes. Beacon's new play. I landed the lead role... Uh... _Little red riding hood,_ and I have been practicing different voices for her! I must have slipped into her voice without noticing."

There was a tense silence in the room, in which Yang was feeling infinitely proud of her younger sister, before Winter spoke again.

" _I was... Not aware that Beacon had... plays._ " Said the older Schnee sibling, suspicion bleeding from every word.

"I-it's a new thing! Ozpin says he feels that all students should be well balanced, which includes the arts. Performing arts. So... Plays." Ruby trailed off awkwardly, momentum lost.

Winter was silent for another long moment. " _So... This play. When can I see it?_ "

"W-what?" Ruby stuttered, disbelieving. Had her lie really worked?

" _The play._ " Winter repeated. _"It will be performed in front of people, no? I would like to come see it as well. After all, to see my own blood starring in a school_ _production is certainly... A unique experience._ "

Weiss/Yang looked absolutely horrified.

"Of course!" Ruby said, perhaps a tad too quickly. "I-there's no set date yet, but I'll let you know when our first performance is!"

A short, decidedly evil sounding chuckle came from the Scroll. " _I will be waiting. Take care, Weiss. And be careful with that Dust._ "

"I will. You too, Winter. And thank you."

The line went dead, and all four girls slumped over with the relief that their first masquerade had gone off successfully.

That is until Weiss, using Yang's considerable strength, grabbed her own body by the shoulders and shook it.

"RUBY ROSE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" She shrieked. "YOU TOLD MY SISTER THAT I WAS IN A PLAY WHEN THERE IS NO PLAY?!"

Ruby managed to wrench herself away, an evil smirk twisting Weiss' features. "Who said there's no play?"

A pause, and then Ruby's words sank in.

"Oh you cannot be serious..." Groaned Blake, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"PRESENTING, LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, AN ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY... RUBY ROSE!" The scythe-wielder announced at high volume in Weiss' shrill voice.

A few moments later, there was an angry banging at the door, and Jaune's voice floated through, high and angry.

"IT IS WAY TO EARLY AND THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH YELLING AND SCREAMING COMING FROM THIS ROOM!" Yelled the blond indignantly. "WOULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN!?"

"Would _YOU_ please keep it down?!" RWBY heard someone else yell from down the hall.

"YEAH! We're trying to sleep here!" Came another voice, from another dorm.

Defeated, Jaune shuffled back to his own room, muttering dark curses under his breath while Team RWBY started laughing.

* * *

  **Omake #1:** Sisterly Concern

Winter sighed as she clicked the 'End Call' button on her Scroll and plopped her head back down on her pillow.

When she'd received an urgent call from her father a scant twenty minutes ago, she had not been expecting him to practically _demand_ she call her sister to inform her about the possibly volatile and dangerous Dust that had _somehow_ ended up among her things.

 _"Why do you never answer Father's calls?"_ Winter thought to herself, feeling slightly upset and sorry for herself. _"Why? Now he has to call me to get to you and I_ _was in the middle of my beauty sleep."_ Winter groaned and shoved her head under her pillow, much like an ostrich.

And Weiss had sounded so strange, too. Uncertain. And her _greeting..._

Something was off, Winter decided. Something was very off about her younger sister.

Weiss had even seemed slightly scared about something. And that _play_...

Wait.

Something clicked into place for Winter.

Weiss had three teammates.

And two of them were Qrow Branwen's nieces.

Qrow.

_Qrow._

_QROW._

Winter shot up, the pillow flying across the room to land with a soft and pitiful _poof_ on a ridiculously extravagant armchair.

Her eye twitched, much like her sister's.

_"They wouldn't."_

Winter reconsidered that statement.

 _"... They would._ "

She wasn't sure whether to be horrified at the thought, or concerned.

After all, from what she'd seen of Beacon's rooms, they certainly weren't meant to handle... _it._

And her sister... She'd known for ages that her sister had always wanted them, but... Now?

Ridiculous. That was ridiculous. There was no way. No _possible_ way that Weiss Schnee could possibly stoop to such childish and immature standards as to-

Winter had already palmed her scroll, typed out her message, and her thumb was currently hovering over the 'Send' button.

* * *

"Uh, Weiss, it's your Scroll again..."

Weiss groaned as Yang flipped the offending electronic at her, and groaned _again_ when Ruby helpfully chimed in with a, "It's your sister!"

The heiress deftly caught her Scroll and finished combing through Yang's thick blonde tresses, all the while complaining about why she had _so much goddamn hair_ and how the brawler could _possibly_ maintain it all.

Lilac eyes flickered to the message and Weiss nearly dropped her Scroll.

There, in big, capital letters, was an accusation that sent shivers down her spine.

 **_[6:59] Winter:_ ** _WEISS SCHNEE DID YOU GET A BUNK BED_

* * *

**Omake #2:** LET ME SLEEP

The first shriek only caused Jaune to roll over in his bed, frowning slightly.

The second had him slowly sitting up in bed to check the time, and the third yell woke his teammates up as well.

"Ugh... What _time_ is it..." Mumbled a sleepy Nora, who had somehow migrated over to Ren's bed somewhere in the course of the night. Jaune was _sure_ she had been in her own bed when he'd gone to sleep.  

"Six- six- six thirty..." Yawned Pyrrha, sitting up as well, not a hair out of place... Somehow.

Jaune groaned and rested his head on his knees. "I swear, this is the _third_ time this week that I've woken up to someone from Team RWBY screaming their heads off."

"Fourth..." Ren corrected, now attempting to shake a cuddly Nora off his arm. "This is the fourth time."

"What could they possibly have to shriek about this early in the morning?!" Jaune complained, lying back down and rolling around like he was on fire.

Nora opened her mouth to stay something only to have Ren shove her face into the pillow.

"I'm sure they have their reasons." Said Ren, ever the reasonable one.

Jaune grunted back a reply that only a hungover Yang could have possibly interpreted.

Nora pushed her face up from the pillow. "Where's Pyrrha?"

A head poked its way out of the bathroom, "Hello!"

...

Jaune looked up in disbelief. "How are you so _cheerful_." He groused.

His partner was undeterred. "Well, since we're already awake, might as well start the day!" Pyrrha grinned, brandishing a toothbrush.

Nora blinked. "She's right! Why don't we do a little morning exercise!"

"NO!" Jaune all but screamed. "I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP!"

Ren had somehow ninja'd his way across the room and mixed a smoothie.

"Here, drink this." He said, offering a brown concoction to his leader. "It's healthy, and is sure to wake you up."

Jaune blinked suspiciously at the glass before him, seriously tempted to do something to the cook. "Is it coffee?"

"Coffee isn't healthy, silly!" Nora, now awake and peppy as ever, chirped from her perch on the windowsill.

Still determined to sleep, Jaune put his head back on his pillow, but then-

"... BY RUBY ROSE!" Screeched a shrill voice from across the hall.

In a flash of white light that was either Jaune's newfound Semblance, or Pyrrha accidentally spearing another innocent light when Nora practically apparated

next to her, the blond had crossed the room and opened the door to scream at their neighbors.

"This is not going to end well..." Ren said quietly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The worst part of editing is going back and saying to yourself, "Oh my god did i really write this horrible piece of sh*t."  
> And then finding out that you messed something up posting the chapter, and having to comb through every cringey sentence to make it even slightly legible...  
> So, yeah, I'm not too pleased with how this turned out, but hopefully the next one will be better, because now that I've actually set most of it up we can move on to the fun stuff ;) 
> 
> I wasn't really sure whether to post this as part of HWSIBM or as a separate story, but... here it is 
> 
> The Omakes are just little extras, and won't always be canon with the rest of the chapter :) i'm going to say the Winter one was a little OOC so, treat it as you will, but I'm not going to be mentioning it again so it's basically non-canon
> 
> As always, THANK YOU for reading, and even if you didn't like it, well, thank you for giving it a try. If you did, then thank you and I hope I can continue to give you enjoyable content :)
> 
> Long end notes. So... Peace!


	5. Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yang looks in places she shouldn't be looking, Blake is a traitor, Weiss assaults Sun with a book, and Ruby falls out of a tree. So basically, it's Team RWBY playing a mix of Tag and Hide-and-Seek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't posted in a while, and I know this chapter is rushed, but I'm super tired and I can't really see and I hurt my hand and (insert more excuses here)  
> But this idea came to my head and I just had to write it. I had one of those *moments*. I might write more on this later.  
> At the start of this chapter, Yang is the person who is "It". 
> 
> Today's chapter includes: Possibly more crude humour, Bumblebee mention, some OOC-ness possibly depending on your personal head-canons, and me rushing a chapter.

 

**Tag**

 

Heart thudding like Nora’s hammer, Blake slammed the door shut and pressed her back to it, eyes looking for the quickest escape.

She muffled a yelp of surprise as someone started banging on the door.

“Come out kitty cat! I know you’re in there~!” Yang sang, aggressively trying to smash down the Dust-infused wooden door (Beacon obviously needs a lot of those, what with people like Yang and Nora).

Thinking fast, Blake left a clone holding the door closed and leapt out the window just as her teammate smashed through, smiling gleefully. 

The smile dissipated as she beheld the seemingly empty bathroom, only to return as she noticed that one stall at the end of the long row was closed.

And that there was a shadow on the ground. 

“AHA!” Yang yelled, poking her head underneath the stall door.

Velvet screamed and kicked at the blonde’s head. 

* * *

Weiss closed her eyes and attempted to control her breathing, cursing her leader for thinking that a game of tag-hide-and-seek would be a great team bonding exercise.

As it were, Weiss was not terribly good at hiding.

And even worse at running.

A highborn heiress such as herself had never had a reason to hide, to be ashamed or afraid of the general public. Nor to run around indoors, weaving around students and nearly avoiding crashing into various walls and random columns like some drunken bimbo. 

Her anger also had nothing to do with the fact that she hated losing. 

Footsteps approached Weiss and her eyes flashed open, scanning the various bookshelves around her for a flash of yellow or purple.

Anything to indicate a malevolent presence nearby.

There! A flash of gold!

She knew she couldn’t run now- any movement would surely attract Yang’s eye and give away her location.

With only one option left, Weiss grabbed the nearest book off the shelf, preparing to make a run for freedom.

Sun walked around the bookshelf, blinking in surprise at the heiress crouching in the Romance section, a cheesy vampire novel clutched in her hands like a weapon. 

A weapon which she promptly threw at him, screaming and calling him a “traitor” and a “scout” before dashing off in a blur of blue glyphs and snowflakes. 

A loud chorus of SHHHs came from the the direction in which she’d disappeared to. 

* * *

Ruby was perched high up in a tree, silver eyes taking in everything around her, one eye watching for her sister and one observing the sparring match between two exchange students taking place beneath her.

There had been a disturbance in the school from the library a few minutes ago, and she’d also seen Blake sprinting from the direction of their dorms towards the cafeteria. 

Ruby smirked, knowing that she was the true master of tag-hide-and-seek. No one could ever find her. No one could outrun her. No one cou-

“Tag! You’re it!”

Ruby yelped and fell out of the tree, staring up at a gleeful Yang, perched on a branch above where her leader had been squatting on. 

The exchange students looked even more surprised than Ruby, their weapons dropping from their hands at the sudden appearance of a random student.

“H-How did you find me?” Ruby questioned, glaring up at her sister.

The blonde shrugged, “Rubes, we’ve been playing this game for years. You  _ always _ hide in a tree.”

Ruby glowered at the tree as if it were somehow its fault and then covered her eyes.

“One dead Grimm… Two dead Grimm…”

Yang’s eyes widened as she scrambled to get off the tree and away from her leader before she reached twenty dead Grimm. 

* * *

Weiss’ scroll pinged, Yang’s portrait on it disappearing only to be replaced by Ruby’s.

The heiress swore to herself; Ruby was ‘it’, and Ruby was  _ fast. _

She ducked around a corner and into an open closet door, pulling it shut. Darkness engulfed her, her breaths seeming to bounce around the small space.

Weiss nearly screamed as a pair of golden eyes suddenly appeared out of the darkness, a hand clamping around her mouth.

“Shh!” Blake hissed. “It’s just me, Weiss!” 

Weiss relaxed, and Blake took her hand away.

“Yang caught Ruby,” The heiress whispered, relaxing against what felt like the handle of a mop.

“I know.” Blake whispered back, “Yang nearly caught me first but I jumped out of a window.”

Weiss snorted. “Did you land on all fours?”

Golden eyes narrowed into a glare. 

* * *

Yang held her breath as she heard the sound of running footsteps echo through the halls outside of her hiding spot.

Crouching underneath a desk, the blonde attempted to curl in on herself even more, hoping that Ruby would just keep on running by.

“Yang Xiao Long!” 

The voice cut like a whip through the still air and Yang winced as the footsteps outside stopped.

How had she not heard anyone approach her within the room?

Glynda Goodwitch glared down at her student. “What in the  _ world _ are you doing?”

Lilac eyes widened as she heard something that sounded vaguely like a bunch of rose petals being whooshed through the air.

“TEAMBONDINGTHINGSORRYBYE!” Yang called out to Goodwitch as she sprinted for a side door and slammed it shut.

Moments later, she heard a startled Goodwitch yell, “RUBY ROSE!” 

Legs pumping, Yang ran down a short corridor, shoving students behind her. She knew that Ruby’s Semblance could only be activated in short bursts, and was going to use that to her advantage. 

“Yaaaang!” 

“Nope.” Yang muttered to herself, turning a corner and yanking open the nearest door. 

Immediately, two sets of hands had wrapped around her waist and mouth respectively.

“Shhh!”

“Yang be quiet!” 

The blonde struggled briefly before noticing two pairs of eyes- one gold and one blue.

Blake, Yang, and Weiss stilled as they heard Ruby slowly walk past their hiding spot, her boots thudding softly on the marble floor.

“Yaaang… Yaaaaaaang….” She called out, “I know you’re here somewhere…”

Her voice drifted closer and closer to her team’s hiding spot, and said team was already debating who to push into the line of fire.

_ ‘Weiss.’ _ Blake resolved, remembering her jab earlier.

_ ‘Yang.’  _ Weiss thought, recalling various incidents from before and concluding that having the stealthy cat-Faunus that was Blake chasing after her would be far more terrifying. 

_ ‘Weiss-cream.’ _ Yang decided, using her Totally Awesome Partner Senses to pick up on Blake’s wavelength. That, or she’d come to the same conclusion as Weiss.

And when Ruby opened the door, Yang pushed the heiress out into the open while Blake shoved a pile of cookies from seemingly out of nowhere into Weiss’ hands. Bumblebee sprinted out together past their distracted leader, whose silver eyes were locked in on the baked goods clutched in her terrified partner’s arms.

“Coookiiiesssss…” She mumbled, and Weiss cursed.

* * *

**Omake #1:** Those Cookies

 

Blake’s scroll pinged, Yang’s portrait on it disappearing only to be replaced by Ruby’s. 

The Faunus swore to herself; Ruby was ‘it’, and Ruby was  _ fast. _

There would be no outrunning her- only outsmarting. 

Knowing this, Blake sprinted for the cafeteria, passing by a supremely confused looking Sun on her way.

“Uh… Blake?” 

Blake ignored him, more intent on her destination. 

Rounding a corner, she threw herself past the various teams trying to enjoy their lunches, making a beeline for the desserts table.

She grabbed as many chocolate chip cookies as she could carry; and when she ran out of arm space, starting shoving them into her bra.

Yang would have been proud.

* * *

**Omake #2:** A Wonderful Day (Or It Would Have Been)

 

Velvet was having a wonderful day so far.

First, she’d done extraordinarily well on her test.

Second, Coco had grabbed Yatsuhashi to go shopping (read: carry all the bags) with instead of Velvet. 

And best of all? 

It wasn’t a Monday. 

A big smile on her face, Velvet entered the public washrooms, ready to do her business and then eat a delicious (and healthy) lunch.

But just as she entered her stall, there was a disturbance in the form of Blake Belladonna rushing into the bathroom and practically throwing herself against the door.

Knowing that it was Beacon, and that anything (and literally  _ anything _ ) could and might be about to happen, Velvet did the only thing she could think of.

She locked her stall door and stood on the toilet seat, praying for whatever was about to happen to go away. 

Then she noticed that her pants were down.

But if she moved right now…

Crap.

Velvet closed her eyes as the banging started; and when the door broke down, swore to become a very religious bunny if nothing happened to her. 

“AHA!” Yelled a triumphant Yang Xiao Long as she stuck her head under the stall door.

And there went her almost perfect morning. 

Panicking, Velvet kicked the blonde in the face as hard as she could. 

Maybe if she kicked her hard enough, she would forget what she’d seen.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed but if you didn't, thanks for reading anyways!
> 
> I read every single comment and squeal at every kudos; just because I don't reply doesn't mean I don't read. I honestly love reading your comments :) constructive or not, I don't care. 
> 
> Have a good day/night everyone


	6. Vampire Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Weiss is just trying to take a bath, and Ruby is just trying to kill her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally started out with Blake as the vampire and Yang as the Huntress, but then I realized halfway through that I was writing out the personalities of Weiss and Ruby respectively. So, rather than go back and change everything, I just replaced the names.
> 
> I was having a prompt-off with a friend, and then THIS happened so... Hahahahha enjoy?!
> 
> Today's chapter includes: My shortest upload to AO3 yet, snarky vampiric Weiss, a "totally" innocent Ruby, White Rose if you can even call it that, STILL no Bumbleby (despite the fact that i have made a goddamn AMV for them and even uploaded it to Youtube), and slightly OOC Weiss which I refer to in my headcanon as "Weiss if she was slightly insane and maniacally evil"

**Vampire Hunter**

 

“AHA!”

Weiss flinched as a figure suddenly leapt out from behind a tree and flung a bunch of garlic at her, a light suddenly shining to life somewhere in the branches above and nearly blinding her.  

The assailant watched with open-mouthed shock as the garlic, rather than burning the vampire, proceeded to slide harmlessly off her body and into the pool, where it slowly blubbed its way to the bottom. 

“How… What…” 

Weiss fixed a narrowed pair of crimson red eyes on her assailant; a rather short girl with dark brown hair who could not have been more than fifteen. “Could you have the decency to  _ not _ attempt to kill me while I’m… You know…  _ Bathing?! _ ”

The assailant opened and closed her mouth in shock, the wooden stake clutched in her hand falling to the forest floor with a muted thump. “What… You… That should have hurt you!” 

Weiss rolled her eyes, “Just because  _ one _ very well-known vampire was allergic to garlic and had an extreme case of albinism on a hot summer day does  _ not _ mean that these ‘weaknesses’ apply to  _ every _ vampire!” 

The assailant was speechless as she stared at her target, floating serenely in the pool and very much not dead. “But the book said-”

“Books!” The vampire scoffed. “Only an idiot would believe everything they read in a  _ book _ !” 

At the crestfallen look on the girl’s face, Weiss only sighed and turned around with a small splash. “Look, if garlic actually worked on all vampires, that would have been a great scheme and all...” She turned her head to glare at the brunette, “But seriously? While I was  _ bathing _ ? Have you no decency?” 

The girl looked mildly ashamed. “I just thought… Water slows down movement and all…”

“And how were you planning to do me in? With that stake?” 

The brunette nudged the fallen weapon with her boot, hands clasped behind her back much like a petulant child. “... Yeah…” She mumbled.

The vampire scoffed again, sinking below the water so that only her head was not submerged, “Were you going to throw it or climb in here to stake me from close range?”

The assailant blinked. “Er… I…”

In truth, she had not thought that far.

“And please,” Weiss continued, narrowing her eyes as she glanced up, “turn  _ off _ that accursed light! I simply  _ cannot _ have an uneven tan line!” 

There was a moment of silence, followed by a soft  _ whoosh _ as the light went out. 

“... Sorry…” The girl muttered, picking up the stake and turning it around in her hands. “I’m not terribly good at this. You’re the first vampire I’ve ever tried to kill.”

“Yeah. I can tell.” Weiss snapped back, slowly making her way towards the shore. 

As she reached for the discarded clothing lying on the shore, a small voice made its way to her from across the large pool. 

“You’re pretty chill about this, you know; for a murderous supernatural entity who I just attempted to kill…” 

Weiss turned and arched an eyebrow. “You’re not the first apprentice Hunter who has attempted to kill me for their Initiation. Although,” She finished as she flashed ashore and donned her clothes in the blink of an eye, “You’ve certainly done the worst job.” 

The brunette visibly deflated at that, and for some god-forsaken reason, the vampire felt a slight inkling of  _ pity _ for her. 

“Hey.”

The girl looked up, still fiddling with the stake. “Yeah?” 

“What’s your name?”

“... Ruby. Ruby Rose.” Came the meek response.

“Well, Ruby,” Said the vampire, a small smile tilting up the corners of her mouth, “Don’t give up just yet. I’m sure that there’s a suitably unintelligent vampire out there whom the gods have marked as your prey.”

“Err… Thanks?” The young apprentice Huntress cocked her head sideways and peered at the vampire with large silver eyes, “Hey… wooden stakes still work on vampires, right?” 

“Of course. That is one of the only things you mortals have gotten right.” The vampire flipped her flowing white hair over one shoulder. “That, and our uncanny, ethereal beauty.”

Ruby had the vague sense that this particular bloodsucker was unusually arrogant and prissy, even for a vampire. 

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Ruby smiled as she saw a flash of movement behind the vampire. “That’s  _ really _ good to hear.”

Weiss had only half a moment to ponder that statement before she felt a sharp pain stab through her chest.

Looking down, the vampire saw the pointed end of a wooden stake protruding from between her breasts, her own red blood dripping onto the grasses underfoot. Dimly, she heard a rustle from somewhere behind her.

Another Hunter. 

Ruby looked positively exuberant - that is, until her quarry simply ripped the stake out from her chest and, with inhuman reflexes and strength, launched the wooden weapon towards the second Hunter hidden in the trees.

A surprised and muffled yelp told Ruby that the stake had found its mark, and she took a step forward, a name on her lips.

She stepped straight into a hard, unyielding, and really damn  _ cold _ body. 

“Don’t worry,” Weiss smirked, “Your friend is unhurt. I’ve merely pinned them to the tree behind them. I see no point in killing someone with unrealized potential.”

Ruby was honestly beginning to think that this vampire was insane. 

“Why the hell wouldn’t you kill us?” She paused for a moment before adding more, “And why the hell didn’t that kill  _ you _ ?!”

And then, just as quickly as she had appeared, the vampire disappeared, her voice echoing through the trees. “A stake through the heart doesn’t kill someone without a functioning one!” 

Ruby stood still, completely unable to believe the events which had just transpired. 

And then she realized something.

She turned in a circle and, picking a direction at random, yelled out, “Hey! You didn’t answer the first question!”

She could have sworn that there had been an evil cackle from somewhere in the distance.

* * *

**Omake #1:** But Wai?

At the crestfallen look on the girl’s face, Weiss only sighed and turned around with a small splash. “Look, if garlic actually worked on all vampires, that would have been a great scheme and all...” She turned her head to glare at the brunette, “But seriously? While I was  _ bathing _ ? Have you no decency?”

The girl looked mildly ashamed. “I just thought… Water slows down movement and all…”

She pointedly avoided looking at the vague shadowy... shadow, that was the vampire's body underwater, and banished from her mind the past few hours which she'd spent stalking the vampire.

The vampire with the smooth... Flawless skin and those soft red lips and-

No.

Ruby shook her head to clear her thoughts.

Just no.

* * *

**Omake #2:** The Dilemma 

“AHA!”

Weiss flinched as a figure suddenly leapt out from behind a tree and flung a bunch of garlic at her, a light suddenly shining to life somewhere in the branches above and nearly blinding her.  

She screamed in pain as she felt the garlic touch her bare skin, the feeling akin to someone shoving a burning hot iron against her chest.

Weiss flailed around in the water as the garlic, through some unlucky miracle, managed to wrap its way around her throat like some burning necklace from Hell. 

Ruby pumped her fist into the air as she beheld the thrashing bloodsucker in the water, white hair and water droplets flinging everywhere, the scene accompanied by a soprano wail that made the young apprentice Huntress want to cover her ears.

No matter; as soon as she staked the vampire, the wailing would stop. 

Ruby flipped the stake in her hands and-

Silver eyes went wide.

Crap. 

The vampire was too far across the pool and moving too unpredictably for Ruby to get a clear shot - and even if she had one, she doubted she'd be able to throw the stake with enough force to pierce through skin, never mind the heart.

There was only one option left.

Gulping, and knowing that Yang, hiding in the bushes with a crossbow loaded with a wooden bolt would only help if it appeared that her life was in danger, Ruby hiked up her combat skirt and slowly made her way into the water.

Towards the thrashing, screaming vampire.

The thrashing screaming, vampire who was completely nak-

Ruby turned around and walked out, flinging the stake into the water with a loud  _splash._

"Nope!" She called out to the trees. "Nope nope noppity nope!" 

The trees engulfed the young apprentice, and Weiss just kept on screaming in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was, “Just because ONE very well-known vampire was allergic to garlic and had an extreme case of albinism on a hot summer day does NOT mean that these ‘weaknesses’ apply to EVERY vampire!” from a writing prompt blog on tumblr. You've probably seen it before maybe possibly? 
> 
> As usual, thanks for reading, kudo'ing, commenting, and all the rest! Hope you enjoyed :)


	7. Cheating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yang attempts to cheat off of Blake during an exam, Blake doesn't want to help, and Ruby and Weiss are being shady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Soulmate AU, in which soulmates can read and send each other thoughts in a form of telepathic communication. I've also added that soulmates have each other's 'symbols' or 'emblems' or something tattooed on the inside of their wrist, which they have to press in order to initiate the communication. Kind of like a radio. 
> 
> Today's chapter includes: Bumbleby (at long last), White Rose, blackmail, cheating (of the test kind), soulmates, telepathy, and me with absolutely no clue what the hell I'm doing because I am having some serious problems atm.

**Cheating**

_‘Who led the Faunus forces during the Battle of Haven Creek?’_

Yang scratched absentmindedly at the small mark on the inside of her wrist as she tapped her pencil against the wooden desk in a quick staccato beat.

She glanced to her right, watching Weiss furiously scribble away at her exam paper, each letter _somehow_ still precise and perfect despite writing faster than Ruby could run.   

Stretching her arms over her head, Yang’s eyes ‘discreetly’ slid over to her teammate’s paper. When she couldn’t make out the words, she craned her neck just a _lit_ -

“Ahem.”

Lilac eyes snapped to the front of the room, where Professor Oobleck was glaring at her from behind his glasses.

Grinning sheepishly, Yang slumped back into her seat.

 _‘Who led the Faunus forces during the Battle of Haven Creek?’_ Yang re-read the question again, hoping for a nugget of insight to suddenly punch her in the face.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) for her, no such punch came.

Holding back a growl, Yang flipped through the rest of the exam, heart sinking at the sheer quantity of unfinished questions left.

_‘Why couldn’t these be multiple choice?!’_

Sighing, Yang decided to try her Plan B again.

Discreetly pressing down on the stylised flower emblem on the inside of her wrist, the blonde focused on sending her thoughts out.

 _“Blaaaaaaaaaake!”_ She thought in the loudest, most obnoxious voice she could possibly think.

Yang smirked when she saw Blake flinch on the other side of the room.

A moment later, a soft voice coated in barely concealed anger hissed in Yang’s head.

_“What!?”_

_“I need help.”_

Through the mental link, Yang could _feel_ her partner’s exasperation.

 _“Yang, I already told you: I am_ **_not_ ** _going to help you cheat!”_

Yang pouted, despite knowing that Blake wasn’t looking at her. _“Please?”_

_“No.”_

_“Pretty please?”_

_“NO.”_

_“Pretty please with a cherry and some tuna on top?”_

This time, Blake glanced up and glared at the blonde from across the room. _“Yang! For the last time, I am not helping you cheat!”_

_“Aww, but what’s the point of being able to hear each other’s thoughts if we don’t use it to our advantage?”_

Yang could practically _hear_ Blake’s eyes rolling to the next dimension.

_“There are practical uses, such as during combat and escaping your sister, and then there are abusive uses, such as cheating during an evaluation of one’s own knowledge and skills.”_

The blonde huffed as she started absentmindedly doodling kittens on her paper.

_“C’mon Blake, just one question… I promise I won’t do it again. You know I was too tired to study last night…”_

_“Only because you spent the better part of the evening outrunning Weiss after lighting her clothes on fire.”_

_“It was an accident!”_

_“It was your stupidity!”_

_“How was I supposed to know she had a vial of fire Dust in her pocket?”_

Blake pinched her nose and closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths.

Just a few more pages left and then she could leave.

But how was she supposed to finish the exam if her accursed partner would not stop badgering her?

Blake glanced at Professor Oobleck, sitting at the front of the room and silently ~~judging~~ appraising the students while sipping from his thermos.

Maybe she could just quietly tip him off…

The Faunus sighed as she let her head drop to the desk.

No. It would be unfair to Yang to a) reveal to everyone that they were soulmates, and b) earn her a fail on the exam for attempting to cheat.

And while being soulmates wasn’t exactly scandalous or even looked down upon, staying quiet about it certainly had its perks.

Such as having an advantage during two on two sparring matches.

Or getting advance warning for when Ruby was feeling particularly crafty.

Or being able to communicate that there was no toilet paper left.

Without a scroll.

_“... Blake?”_

Sighing again, Blake lifted her head up and stared across the room, right at Yang. Her partner’s lilac eyes were concerned, and the Faunus watched as she pressed back down on the mark.

 _“Okay.”_ Yang’s voice came again, _“I’ll stop asking.”_

Blake looked away, turning her head to the right and watching Ruby work away at her own exam.

… With a finger pressed to the snowflake on the inside of her wrist.

Blake raised an eyebrow. _‘You know, maybe Yang’s right. We have an advantage that not all others do, and we’d be foolish not to take advantage of it.’_

It wasn’t as if she was feeling strangely competitive and/or angry that Ruby and Weiss were cheating.

It wasn’t as if she was determined to get a higher mark than Weiss on an exam.

Blake flipped back a few pages.

_“Fine, I’ll help you.”_

She could feel Yang’s surprise, and rolled her eyes.

_“But first, what did you get for question 17B…”_

* * *

 

**Omake #1: Team Studying**

 

Weiss’ eye twitched as she looked over the exam scores posted on the wall.

Ruby looked exuberant.

Yang looked smug.

Blake was mildly pissed.

“Congratulations, Team RWBY!” Professor Oobleck said, glancing at the scores over their heads. “Perfect scores, each of you! Top marks in the class. Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop!”

He walked away, still sipping from the thermos.

Jaune walked over, Pyrrha and Ren close behind. “Aw man, I don’t know how you guys did it! Pyrrha tutored me for _hours_ and I barely made it into the top 50% of the class…”

Pyrrha smiled and gave him a friendly pat on the back (which sent him reeling onto the floor), “It’s okay, Jaune. You’ll do better next time. Although I really am curious as to how you all managed to do so well!”

Blake put on a very unconvincing smile, “Team studying!”

“Yeahhh!” Chimed in the rest of her team.

It was at this point that Nora bounded in out of nowhere and thrust her face into Blake’s. “You cheeeeaateddd……” She hissed, and Ren quickly ran over to drag her away.

“YOU CHEEEAAATEEDDDD!!!!” Nora kept screaming as she disappeared around the corner, Ren shooting everyone an apologetic look.

* * *

**Omake #2: Cheaters Never Prosper**

 

_“There are practical uses, such as during combat and escaping your sister, and then there are abusive uses, such as cheating during an evaluation of one’s own knowledge and skills.”_

The blonde huffed as she started absentmindedly doodling kittens on her paper.

_“C’mon Blake, just this once… I promise I won’t do it again. You know I was too tired to study last night…”_

Blake sighed. _“Fine. Fine, fine fine. What’s the question.”_

Yang beamed, though her partner couldn’t see. _“Who led the Faunus forces during the Battle of Haven Creek?”_

_“... General Fluffybuns, also known as Asgore Dreemurr.”_

The blonde paused. _“Are you sure?”_

_“Yang. Trust me. I’m a Faunus, I think I know my own history.”_

* * *

 

Yang stared in disbelief at the wall.

“I failed?!” She exclaimed in disbelief. “But…”

The blonde turned to see her partner walking towards her, looking smugger than smug.

Blake leaned in close, her lips brushing against Yang’s ear and her fingers trailing along her partner’s arm as she softly whispered…

“ **Cheaters never prosper.** ”

* * *

  **Omake #3: Subtlety**

 

Blake glanced at Professor Oobleck, sitting at the front of the room and silently ~~judging~~ appraising the students while sipping from his thermos.

Maybe she could just _quietly_ , **_subtly_** _,_ tip him off…

Blake stood up abruptly, her chair falling backwards with a loud _CRASH_.

Ruby looked up in surprise, as did most other students. Weiss kept writing.

The golden-eyed Faunus pointed an accusing finger across the room at her blonde partner. “Professor Oobleck, Yang Xiao Long is attempting to cheat off of me by using our telepathic soulmate bond. Please make her stop.”

And with that, Blake disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving chaos, anarchy, and the next Beacon scandal in her wake.

* * *

**Omake #4: Blackmail**

 

_“Who led the Faunus forces during the Battle of Ha-”_

_“General Sam Groves.”_ Weiss cut in. _“She was also a major figure during the underground skirmishes common during the first year and a half of the Revolution.”_

Ruby quickly scribbled that down. _“The Battle of Fort Castle-”_

_“- Was lost by General Lagune, due to his failure to realize that the Faunus had far superior night vision.”_

The leader of Team RWBY copied down her partner’s response. _“Thanks for helping me, Weiss.”_

_“... This is blackmail, Ruby. I hope you realize that.”_

Ruby smirked. _“Well, you have nothing to worry about if I beat Yang and Blake.”_

_“... Ruby, how did you get those pictures in the first place…”_

An evil - and I mean _evil_ \- smile tilted up the corners of the young girl's’ lips. _“That is for me to know and for you to never,_ **_ever_ ** _find out.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hell did I just write...
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Side note, I think I'll start taking prompts now because why not?  
> You got anything, leave it in the comments for now; one day I'll get a tumblr set up for this. One day.


	8. Dunces and Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: d&d (or equivalent) game in which Blake is the GM, Weiss is not rp'ing properly (much to everyone's annoyance), Yang ruins everything (again), and Ruby tries (and fails) to be secretly evil (or does she, it's up to you).
> 
> In which: Weiss sucks at RP, Yang is a little shit, Ruby pulls a wtf move, and Blake just wants to never talk to any of her teammates ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. It's bad, and it's late, but I had a backlog of stuff to do and depression and - well, no more excuses. I'm just awful. I'm so sorry.

**Dunces and Dragons**

 

Weiss: Violet, Human Sorcerer

Ruby: Rose, Dragon-born Rogue

Yang: Ying, Dwarven Paladin

Blake: DM (Dungeon Master), the narrator

 

“You approach the Ancient Tomb,” Blake says ominously while waving her hands emphatically, “When all of a sudden, a strange mist begins to appear around you. From out of the shadows-”

“-Wait,” Weiss interrupts, “wait wait wait. Shadows? What shadows? I thought we were in a clearing in the middle of the Forest of Beagles!”

“ _ Eagles _ ,” Blake hisses, “and yes, but there’s mist so the light is being blocked-”

“That’s not how mist works, Blake.” Weiss cuts in. “You’re thinking about  _ fog- _ ”

“Okay  _ fine! _ ” Blake concedes, throwing her hands up into the air. “The  _ fog _ rolls into the clearing, ensconcing your characters in shadow.”

Weiss nods, satisfied.

For now.

Yang, for her part, is confused. “What does ‘ensconcing’ mean?”

“To cover or shelter, Yang.” Weiss says, sounding very much like a dictionary. “Honestly, you people need to read more.”

“Can we please please please just get on with the story?” Ruby whines. “I wanna kill some monsters already!”

Ruby, Weiss, and Yang look expectantly towards Blake, who sighs before continuing. “From the shadows  _ of the fog _ ,” She says emphatically while shooting an accusatory glance towards Weiss, “emerges a figure dressed in the crimson robes of the Order of Scarlet-”

“Why,” Weiss interrupts again, “are they wearing crimson robes if the Order is  _ scarlet _ ?”

Blake rolls her eyes. “It’s not… they’re both shades of red okay? It’s not good storytelling if you use the same adjective more than once in the same sentence!”

“Well then you could have said, ‘the figure was dressed in the scarlet red of their Order’ or something.”

Blake stares at her teammate for a full five seconds. “Do you want to be the GM or something?”

“NO!” Ruby and Yang yell at the same time. Weiss shoots them both an irritated glare.

“Just keep going with the story!” Ruby says to Blake desperately.

She obliges.

“Well well well, travelers,” Blake growls in a rather horrible attempt at a Mistralian accent, “You are a long way from home…

And I have a proposition for you, if you would accept it.”

“Depends,” Ruby answers as her character in a nearly flawless (much to Blake’s annoyance) Mistralian accent. “What is your proposition?”

“I am glad you asked, young Shifter,” The figure cackles evilly (or attempts to - it merely sounds as if Blake has managed to get a hairball stuck in her windpipe).

“Kill the Keeper of Souls - and bring me his head. If you can do so, travelers, I will grant you each one wish.”

“Can we wish for anything?” Yang asks.

“Whatever your heart desires,” Responds  Blake the figure ominously with a grand sweep of their arms. 

“Then can I wish for you?” Yang winks at Blake, and everyone groans.

“Lightning shoots from the outstretched hand of the figure.” Blake deadpans. “Striking Ying square in the chest.”

Yang groans. “Are you _serious_ Blakey?”  
“I!” Blake says dramatically, standing up, “Am not _Blake!_ I am your Dungeon Master! And if I say you are struck by lightning, then _you are struck by lightning!_ ”

Blake sits back down and calmly slides a pair of dice over to Yang. 

“Roll.”

The blonde sighs and picks them up. She throws them with slightly more force than necessary at the table, landing a solid three.

“You take six points of damage! How much health do you have?” Blake asks.

“Uhh…” Yang glances down at the character sheet in front of her. “Thirty-seven.”

Weiss’ eyes bug out. “ _ Thirty-seven?!  _ I have twenty-two!”

Ruby leans her head over the table to glance at Weiss’ character sheet. “Weiss, you put  _ twenty points _ into intelligence?!”

“What?!” Weiss snaps back indignantly, “The pen is mightier than the sword!”

“Says the girl who literally  _ fights with a pointy sword _ !” Yang points an accusing finger towards Myrtenaster, lying innocently against Weiss’ chair.

“Well  _ I’m _ pretty sure you don’t even know what a pen  _ is _ -”

“-guys.” Blake interrupts, before continuing in an inflectionless voice. “The fog disappears along with the mysterious figure, and all of a sudden you find yourself surrounded by a group of mercenaries. Arrows are trained at your heads by archers hidden in the trees. What do you do.”

“I kill them!” Yang exclaims triumphantly, at the same moment that Weiss suggests they “diplomatically barter for safe passage”.

Blake sighs as they break into argument again, feeling infinitely grateful that she had had the foresight to suggest they play in their dorm room and not the library.

* * *

 

“‘Allo!” Blake chirps in a passable attempt at a kind innkeeper, “What can I get you folks? Good round of ale to wake you up?” 

“Make that two rounds.” Yang says, holding up two fingers.

“The innkeeper hands you your drinks,” Blake narrates, “and asks you a bit about yourselves. Won’t you introduce your characters to her?”

“Hello! I’m Rose!” Ruby waves cheerfully at Blake.

“I’m Ying!” Yang stands and does a mock bow.

“And I’m Violet.” Says Weiss, folding her hands primly in her lap.

The innkeeper chuckles merrily. “Well ain’t you a funny lot! Got any good tales to tell?”

“Well, we were just on our way to kill the K-” Weiss was interrupted by Yang slapping her hand over her mouth. Ice blue eyes narrow in anger, before she slaps the hand away. “Yang what the h-”

“Shh!” Yang hisses. “Don’t tell the innkeeper about our super-secret quest!”

“But it’s  _ Blake _ , she  _ gave _ us the quest!”

The faunus in questions sighs. “No, Weiss. I’m - I’m a separate  _ person _ from the innkeeper!”

“So are you saying that you have multiple personalities?”

“I-what- _ NO! _ ” Blake’s ear twitched. “I mean - yes! I-in a manner of speaking!” 

“I do not understand.”

Blake groans and bangs her head against the table. “Weiss we have been playing for nearly an hour  _ how do you still not understand this?!” _

* * *

 

“At last, you arrive upon the lair of the Keeper of Souls.” Blake was just about ready to walk out of the room at this point. They had been playing for  _ hours _ , and between Weiss and Yang’s bickering and Ruby’s need to sabotage their team at every turn, Blake wanted to burn the game so they would never play again.

“I walk up to the Keeper and punch him in the face.” Yang says excitedly, bouncing in her chair. 

“No, you do not!” Blake counters. “There are… traps. Lots of them. And lava.”

“Then I disarm the traps and sacrifice Violet to the lava.”

Weiss indignantly yelps, “What?! Why?!” 

Yang rolls her eyes. “It’s common knowledge that you sacrifice the virgin to appease the gods.  _ Duh _ .”

“Are you assuming that  _ I _ am a virgin?!”

“No, I’m assuming that  _ Violet _ is!” 

Blake senses Ruby about to join in on the argument and quickly slams her hand on the table. “No! There will be no virgin sacrifices!” She sighs, and then points at Yang. “If you roll a six or higher, Ying disarms the traps and bypasses the lava -  _ without _ killing Violet.”

She rolls.

Six.

Arms shooting into the air triumphantly, Yang lets out a “Whoop!” before exclaiming, “And  _ now _ I run in and punch the Keeper!” 

“Wait just a minute there, dear sister!” Ruby stands up, pointing at Yang. “There is just one problem with that.”

Everyone looks at her in confusion. She smirks.

“ _ I _ was a double agent this entire time!” Ruby proclaims gleefully. “And now I use my might elf-bow to kill Yang - I mean, Ying!” 

“You can’t do that!” Yang gasps. She looks at Blake. “She can’t, right?”

Blake’s eye twitches. “Yo-”

Weiss interrupts. “Now hold on just a minute!” She stands up as well, hands on her hips. “There was  _ absolutely _ no build-up there! No subtle hints dropped to clue us in on that! Why, if there had,  _ Violet _ would have known alread-”

Everything was white noise to Blake at this point. She was  _ done. _

Blake stood up so quickly that the table nearly tipped over. “You successfully defeat the Keeper and bring the head to the Order member. Then you all die. The end.”

Ignoring the shouts of protest, Blake breezes out of the room.

* * *

 

**A/N:** No omakes this time. I have zero inspiration. 

 

I am also so so so so so so freaking sorry this took as long as it did. I have felt awful about it every time I thought about it, and finally I just said “screw it” to the depression and sat down to finish this up. I have had literally no motivation or anything for the past year. My stories are all unfinished, and I just… I can’t. So I’m sorry. I'm so. Freaking. Sorry. And I know this chapter was so bad.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed, and if you didn't, then I'm sad but grateful that you gave it a shot anyways. So thank you!


End file.
